Guided by a
Family Law Attorney

In my mediation practice, we meet in a series of structured, guided sessions designed to help you and your spouse reach a comprehensive agreement. I work with both of you to identify, discuss, and resolve all aspects of your separation and divorce. This typically includes creating a clear plan for parenting schedules and decision-making, addressing child support, organizing and dividing your assets and liabilities, considering whether spousal support is appropriate, and determining the timing and process for moving forward with a formal divorce.

My role is to guide and support your discussions while remaining neutral. I work with both of you to keep conversations focused and productive, make sure you’re covering all the issues that need to be addressed, and point you toward reliable information so you can make well-informed decisions. I may share examples of approaches other couples have used or offer ideas for you to consider, always with the understanding that you are free to accept or reject them. I can also review options you’ve developed and flag potential concerns based on my experience. When helpful, I can provide a general sense of the range of outcomes you might expect in court on specific issues, to help you put your decisions in context

We’ll work through all of the practical and financial details you’ll need to resolve in order to reach a complete agreement. This includes developing a clear parenting schedule, deciding how you’ll make decisions for your children across two households, and addressing how their financial needs will be met. We’ll also discuss how to identify and divide your assets and liabilities, whether either of you will need financial support, and how to ensure both of you can move forward with a clear and workable plan for your separate lives.

In addition, we’ll cover related financial and logistical issues such as health insurance, tax filings, life and other insurance, and tax exemptions, along with any other matters unique to your situation. Once you’ve engaged me to guide your mediation, I’ll provide a checklist detailing the specific decisions we’ll address in each session, so you can come prepared and make the most of our time together.

You and your spouse decide what’s fair. If you don’t feel a proposal is fair, you simply won’t agree to it. Unlike a judge, I don’t make decisions for you. My role is to guide the process, raise the questions, and help you explore options, but you remain in control of the answers.

I am not an arbitrator or a judge. I won’t listen to each of you for a few minutes and then dictate what you must do or what is fair. You’ve been making important financial (and, if applicable, parenting) decisions together throughout your marriage, and I respect that experience. My job is to manage the process, keep discussions focused, and ensure you have the information you need, while you retain the authority to determine whether the outcomes are fair for your family.

In my mediation practice, sessions generally last about an hour and a half. I ask that you block out two hours in your schedules, so we have some flexibility and won’t have to stop abruptly if a discussion is still in progress. Some couples prefer longer sessions, while others start to feel fatigued after an hour. Based on my experience, most couples find that their focus and productivity start to taper off around an hour and a half, so that is the target we aim for in each session. 

I usually suggest scheduling sessions about every two weeks. This timing gives most couples the space they need to gather information, consult with advisors, have private discussions, and reflect on the issues and options that arise during mediation. That said, the schedule is completely flexible and based on your needs. You can meet more or less frequently depending on what works best for both of you.

The timeline varies depending on the couple and the issues involved. If you’re able to handle some topics in between sessions on your own, most couples reach agreement on all points in about two or three sessions, or three to four sessions if children are involved. After that, it typically takes a few weeks to draft, review, and sign the formal separation and divorce documents. From start to finish, many couples have their agreements finalized and papers filed within two to three months. The official judgment of divorce, which is the document that legally ends your marriage, may take additional weeks or months to be issued, depending on the court’s schedule.

It’s important to note that mediation is generally much faster and more efficient than traditional litigation, while still giving you control over the outcome.

In my mediation practice, all sessions are held virtually over Zoom. I’ve found that couples often find it easier to discuss sensitive or difficult topics when they are not in the same physical room.

Most of the discussions will involve everyone talking together, but there may be times when I meet with each of you separately.

Many couples also choose to continue conversations with each other between sessions, and we can discuss at our first meeting whether that approach makes sense for you.

Everything you say during sessions is treated as confidential. Nothing you say, or even agree to, during mediation is binding on its own. If you reach an agreement on all points, we will document it in a formal, legal contract, just as would be prepared if you had negotiated through attorneys. Once you sign that document, the agreement becomes a binding and enforceable contract, and it forms the basis of the court order that legally ends your marriage.

In my mediation practice, the cost depends primarily on two factors: the complexity of your situation and how much you and your spouse can discuss and resolve on your own between sessions. I require an initial retainer to cover the mediation sessions and the preparation of the separation agreement. Mediation sessions are billed at an hourly rate for the time spent working with you, and that same rate applies to drafting any agreements you reach and preparing the necessary court documents.

Most couples can expect the entire process, including mediation sessions and preparation of the separation and divorce documents, to cost around $5,000. This estimate includes approximately $400 in court filing fees and will vary depending on the number of sessions needed, the complexity of your situation, and how much you are able to resolve outside of sessions.

You and your spouse can decide how the fee is paid. It can be paid in a lump sum or in monthly installments, whichever works best for you. If you prefer, the fee can be divided between you and your spouse and billed separately.

In my mediation practice, I don’t require either of you to have an attorney, but I often suggest that each of you consult an attorney if it would make you feel more confident about your rights, obligations, and expectations.

While I am an attorney, my role is to help both of you work together toward an agreement. I do not represent either of you individually, and I cannot provide personal negotiation advice or tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. For that guidance, it can be helpful to have an attorney who is solely your advisor. Mediation is not intended to eliminate lawyers, but to shift their role from acting as advocates in the negotiation to acting as consultants who provide guidance and support.

In most cases, no. If you and your spouse are able to reach an agreement on all issues in mediation, you will sign the necessary papers, which will then be submitted to the court to obtain a judgment of divorce. Typically, you will not need to appear before a judge.

The end product of our work is a formal separation agreement. In New York, this is the legal contract that sets out all of your financial and parenting rights and responsibilities. Through this agreement, you and your spouse can make decisions about your money, property, and family arrangements. The one thing you cannot do privately is change your marital status. You still need a court-issued judgment to become legally divorced. Just as you needed a license to get married, you need a judge’s approval to end your marriage. By signing a separation agreement, you retain control over all substantive decisions, rather than leaving them to a judge, but you still complete a formal divorce filing if your goal is to become legally single.

If you have children and have already discussed a parenting arrangement, it’s helpful to have that written down to share during our first session. If possible, it’s also helpful to prepare an informal summary of your assets and liabilities for the first session, including approximate values. Don’t worry if you don’t have this ready but having it can help me quickly understand your financial situation. Copies of your most recent tax returns can also be helpful to get a clearer picture and speed up our discussion.